This doesn’t look like a nice thing to do…

Link

Anyone ever had their head pinned down like this? Seems kind of mean.

Julia Allison…

…is absolutely stunning!

Bob Saget…

There is absolutely nothing funny about this guy. That must be his shtick. I caught a little bit of his show on HBO and he’s just as unfunny as he was on America’s Funniest Home Videos. The only thing different was he swore.

In Treatment

Anyone been watching this show on HBO? I’m sort of addicted to it. The funny thing is, I haven’t watched any of the episodes in sequence so I really don’t know if I’m coming or going. Also, by not exactly following the story, I have no idea why I’m interested in it. Maybe I consider it cheap therapy?

PS: Maybe I’m back in the writing groove? We’ll see.

HNT for another day…like Monday!

This image is creatively cropped. What goes on outside the crop lines?

A hard-on in how long?

I understand fully that there are men who suffer from erectile dysfunction. I feel for those guys, I really do. I hope it never afflicts me, but you never know.

The other day I was watching this special on HBO about the porn industry. Jenna Jameson was on there saying “yeah, all these guys come up to me and say I could be a pornstar.”  She was basically saying how it wasn’t as easy and fun as it looks.

I certainly don’t doubt her. I’m sure it’s like anything. The minute you get paid for it, it loses some of its luster.

Anyway, what really shocked me was her saying something to the affect of “if you can’t drop your pants and be hard in five minutes, forget it, you can’t be a porn star.”

Five minutes?!?! Five minutes may as well be five hours. Is there any man without E.D. who can’t get himself hard in five minutes? I think I could be hard for fucking at just about any time in the matter of 30 seconds. I’m certainly not trying to brag here, but I never thought it much of an accomplishment to be able to get hard in the span of five minutes.

Am I just gifted? Should I consider a new career in porn? I doubt it.  Men out there, please comment. Am I a rare species?

And for the women, have you ever had to work a cock to hardness? I really don’t think a woman has ever touched my cock when it hasn’t been hard. From the time I realize that she is going to touch, suck or insert my cock until the time it makes contact, I am rock hard.

Please, please, please advise!!!!!!!!!

Where do I apply?

Supposedly this is what I’m worth in bed…

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The Holidays

For anyone who’s divorced with children, is there ever a day that goes by where you don’t think about being a traditional family unit again? There are all kinds of reason for divorce and I’m sure some pretty ugly scenarios, but the idea of waking up on Christmas morning and everyone together opening presents is amazing. Or on Easter Sunday, getting ready and going to church and singing the familiar songs. Mom, dad and the kids all dressed in their Sunday best singing “Jesus Christ Is Risen Today…” with the background of triumphant brass instruments.

I love that and since my divorce I haven’t really enjoyed it as much. Sure I went to church today and spent a lot of time with my kids. But there surely was a void there. The kids had fun, but at any given time one of their parents wasn’t enjoying in on the fun.

That is terribly sad to me.

There are days I want to pick up that phone and ask my ex what we can do to work it out, you know, rejoin somehow in matrimony and pretend all the shit didn’t happen. Then, minutes or even seconds later, the voice of reason speaks up. Could it ever be put back together? Should it be put back together if only for the sake of allowing the kids of what I wrote about above?

I don’t know. There are a heck of a lot more normal days than there are big family holidays. Three hundred and sixty-two days of possible turmoil? Who knows. Have we learned from our mistakes. Have I learned from mine? Am I still making love and in love with someone else? Yes, I am. Can you make that love go away but simply walking away for what feel like the right reasons?

Again, I don’t know. I do realize that life is a journey. It just so happens that sometimes while I’m in a beautiful place, I feel like I’m being pick-pocketed and have no traveler’s checks to fall back on. The freedom can be extremely lonely. But then I think of the companionship and commitment and think how it was in many ways extremely suffocating.

As Easter dwindles down and the kids have jumped off their sugar highs and nestled into bed, I sit here and wonder what I’m doing. And, if what I’m doing is right or wrong.

Check out this story…

True story, I was happy.

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.” I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

“The moral of this story is:

“Always keep your condoms in your car.”

March Madness